Google Mapping God

Last night I was listening to a song called "What Would Jesus Do?", and while I do love the song, it made me realize just how many questions we ask. We ask so many questions that it gives the impression that we're trying to look at "the big picture" (God) to try to understand Him more... But I personally think that's a problem.

I look at it as Google Maps: It you zoom into the map you can see the detail of everything, but if you zoom out of the map you can see the whole picture. I see us viewing God the same way...
While everyone is asking their own questions, my question is this: Why are we trying to look at "the big picture" if the picture will always be too big to see? We zoom out on God so much that we miss the special details of who He is and what He's doing.
The fact is: We can zoom out and try to look at God as a whole picture, but He will never be a picture that can be fully seen.

All this doesn't apply so much to those who don't believe (though it can), but to those who DO believe yet still try to figure out what they can't. In the meantime, they're missing the special details of God! We don't KNOW Him because we're asking too many questions. We're standing from a distance thinking we'll find the answers from far away!

The best information you can get comes from an actual relationship with God. Have you prayed lately? Do you even KNOW what prayer can do? Have you read what GOD says about who He is? Have you even considered that it's the TRUTH?
The problem is we search for God our own way (and end up finding other things) and don't even consider His way...

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
~ Jeremiah 33:3


Have we become so obsessed with our own "knowledge" that we refuse to search for the Truth? We (as Christians) sometimes try to examine God as if He's some kind of magical object, and don't see His character as our Father. A Father who loves us and wants nothing more than to take care of us. The best way we can receive information is from the source itself, and God has NOT eliminated Himself as a source of information, so why are we looking to other people and books and things? Why is God not good enough to provide us with what we need to know? Or is faith just too tiring for us to live by?

God is a picture that we will never be fully able to zoom out on because He's completely eternal. It's impossible to get to the end of eternal! But go ahead and wear yourself out trying to get there... but even I can tell you it's not God your looking for, it's knowledge.

We're way too concerned about what God looks like from a far point of view that we're missing the details of His character.
He is God
He is our Father
He is our Rock
He is our Salvation
He loves us
He provides for us
He takes care of us
He speaks to us
He died for us
He forgives us
He is eternal
He is preparing a place for us
He saves us
He protects us
He is our strength
He is our Creator
He is powerful
He is gracious
He gives life
He takes life
He IS Life
He knows our thoughts
He knows our worries
He knows our struggles
He answers our prayers
He desires our hearts
He doesn't change
He is exactly who He says He is
He turns bad into good
He hears our cries
He is by our side
He is our Shepherd
He is our King
He is our everything
He is more than we'll ever know!

When it's your time to be judged, He's not going to care about your knowledge... He's going to care about your heart and how you lived for Him. So stop zooming out on a picture that comes with so much detail! Get to know your relationship with Him above anything else, and THEN things that matter will be revealed to you! : )
(Things I learned through experience.)

God's Will?

I'm leaning completely on God to take care of all friendships, relationships, struggles, worries, thoughts and feelings. I find that the more I trust God, the more joy I have in any situation I face. My life-prayer right now is that I would pray so much that my knees would be bruised. And though I'm struggling with some people right now, what gives me the right to stop praying for them? I don't have those kind of rights... God calls the shots around here!

I'm just learning so much about Him right now, and I honestly haven't been in His Word this much at any point in my life than right now. It's amazing how much more clarity I have now. He continues to speak to me though I've ignored Him so much lately.
His will is too big for me to understand, but His path is bright enough for me to see; therefore, I will follow what I can see and trust what I can't. As long as God is at the other end of the tunnel there is no reason why I should have fear. His walk is my walk and my walk is His. <3

I found some verses as I've been reading that backup why it's okay for me to be doing some of the things I felt were right all along. I shouldn't feel guilty because a person tells me I'm wrong about something that I know God is telling me to do. Other people's disbelief shouldn't effect my walk in the slightest, and I refuse to let it! God is watching everything I do so I gotta make it count!

Last night I had a dream that a homeless family was living with me, so it makes me wonder what God's will is for me. I can't stop thinking about homeless people though, it's been like this for about a month. I'm wondering if God is calling me to do some kind of homeless ministry, I have thought about it and have come up with some kind of idea I'd want to do but I don't know. I'm still praying on where God wants me. I just have to listen carefully!

You Put This Love In My Heart

"I found it hard to believe
Someone like you cared for me
You put this love in my heart
I tried but could not refuse
You gave me no time to choose
You put this love in my heart

I want to know where the bad feelings go
When I'm depressed and I get down so low
And then I see you coming to me and it's alright

I want to tell you right now
I'm not afraid to say how
You put this love in my heart
There are sometimes when I doubt
But you always find me out
You put this love in my heart

'Cause when I see all that you've done for me
It's hard to doubt, I just have to believe
'Cause you followed and proved it all of your life

Well I know
The loneliness I had before
Is gone now
I'll never feel it anymore

'Cause your love has released me
From all that's in my past and I know I can believe you
When you say I'll never be forsaken
Your love is gonna last

There's so much I should say
If I could just find a way
You put this love in my heart
Is all this real or a dream
I feel so good I could scream
You put this love in my heart

I want to know where the bad feelings go
When I'm depressed and I get down so low
And then I see you coming to me and it's alright

You put this love in my heart
You put this love in my heart
You put this love in my heart"

~ "You Put This Love In My Heart" by Keith Green

Mighty To Save

God's love is soo good. : )

I just wanted to share a story that happened yesterday (it's a new A.M. now).

I started working with my dad in March this year. Every day since I've been working there, there's this guy who rents out half of my dad's warehouse/garage/shop, so his office is right next to us. He always comes in and out of our office, but the most we've spoken to each other is "hello". But even with such a short word and not knowing him at all, I've felt a burden to pray for him for these 7 months. Though I never got to it cause I still wasn't sure if God was calling me to be a "prayer warrior" for him.

This past Wednesday as I was reversing out of the driveway of work, I was saying to myself "I really feel like I need to pray for this guy now...". I still wanted confirmation from God though...

So yesterday (Thursday), I got to work and sat down in this chair in my dad's office. The guy was in or came and sat in the chair next to me, and he and my dad started talking. Then my dad gets up and walks outside, so now it's just me and this guy in silence. I was nervous because I wanted to say something about God but didn't know how to bring it up. So as I was panicking in my mind, he starts speaking to me. He asks "Do you go to school?" and I said no. Then he asks "What do you do?". First I answered "I work here..." then the light bulb in my mind went on and I realized this was the opening I needed so I added "... and I'm very involved with church". We talked a little about it and then it was quiet again, so I got the courage to ask "Do you go to church?"... And that opened up more conversation. He told me how he didn't really believe in any religion or one specific God, but that was the confirmation I needed just the day before... I needed a strong reason to pray for him.

It was no coincidence that I ended up talking to him about God the day after I had been burdened about it when through all the seven months we hadn't spoken more than a "hello".

I'm so thankful to serve a God who knows how to listen and to speak to me. He knows every worry and every thought. He's truly mighty to save. : )

Judgment VS Accountability

I think a lot of people get confused with the difference between "judging" and "holding someone accountable".
Sin is really not at all what other people think about you, it's what God thinks about you. If someone points out your sin, it shouldn't be offensive unless it is in fact NOT a sin that you are committing. That's where it's really important to line up what God says with the actions of your life. Ask yourself, "What am I doing to give people the wrong impression?". If someone points something out specifically, we have to look at where it came from: Did they say it because they have something against you or because God Himself speaks about it in His Word? Sometimes people feel "judged" because they know they're doing something they're not supposed to be doing.

I remember a year ago I felt "judged" because I was hanging out (a lot) with someone who didn't follow God. Now I look back and see those people felt uncomfortable about me hanging out with that person because they cared about my walk with God and saw something I didn't. Scripture was pointed out to me but I thought "Oh that doesn't apply to me..."... YES IT DOES!
Did hanging out with that person cause me to sin? YES! Was God displeased? YES! Did it matter what my friends thought? YES! Because they were looking out for me!
If a friend is letting you play with fire because they're worried about offending you, it's time to get new friends...
Who IS our truest friend anyway? Isn't every believer's best friend Jesus, the One who gave His life for us? What does HE say about what you're doing?

Friends... Everything you do should line up with Scripture, and if it's not, then you really need to consider what your friends are telling you...
As hard as it is to believe, they're doing it because they care and don't want to see you fall, not because they have nothing better to do than "judge" their friends because they're jealous of their sin or something?

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." (Galatians 6:1)
If this offends you, ask yourself why it offends you then examine your lifestyle... DOES it line up with what GOD says?
"... But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." - There's only so much a friend can do for you so consider what's offered to you and be thankful that someone cares enough about you to say something.

I don't say all this to say anything against anyone, I say this because I too have been there and have realized the truth behind being "judged" compared to being "held accountable". : )

Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bad dreams bite...

In the past 35 days I've had 4 dreams about guns; the first one I got shot and was dying, the second one I was sleeping with a gun in order to hide it from some people who were trying to kill me, the third I was outside of a college and some guy started shooting and almost killed one of my friends, and the fourth I was at a gas station that was being robbed, and outside the window I could see a group of guys with guns standing by the gas pumps.

I've had so many dreams come true in the past, it's not even funny... mostly. ; )
But in the summer of 2006 I had about four bad dreams (that I can remember) come true. I don't assume every dream I have is gonna come true now, but I can't say that I don't have the fear that it might sometimes.
I don't expect that I'll be shot or robbed just because I'm having these dreams, but I am without a doubt afraid of guns right now... and certain people in white shirts.

But all this makes me wonder... Why don't any of my good dreams ever happen? I mean, one time I had a dream that Tom Welling, while kneeling on one knee, said to me: "One day, Johanna, you will be successful..." (then he flew away).
Or how about the dream where my 15-year-old brother became this strong, prayer warrior Christian? Or where my friend stands up in the middle of church, smiling, and says: "I'll pray!"?

I'm at a point in my life where I'm really questioning the meaning of dreams. I keep going through seasons where I have repetitive dreams for a little while before it changes to another theme, and then repeats itself.

What do my dreams mean and is it stupid of me to fear the bad ones?
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Silent Expressions

I wish I could write blogs like I used to, but my experiences with God have changed. As of right now, I'm not able to talk about much on how "God speaks", "God provides", "God loves", or to "Keep praying". No; this time my experiences have been rather different in a more faith-testing way.

I still believe that if you ask God to speak to you, He will. Or if you keep praying, He'll show through. Or if you give to God, He'll give back. He HAS done all of these things, and He HAS proven Himself to me many times that He is a faithful God to our needs, desires and prayers. And silly of me to think that these are the only ways God can teach me something. But He's shown me differently...
- Lately when I've been asking God to speak to me, or to use me, I hear nothing but silence the next day. When I pray hard on something, the thing I'm praying for only gets harder. But instead of all the usual loud reactions God always used to "spoil" me with, He reacts in silence.
Instead of words, He uses hints. I wish I could SO better explain this, or give an example of what I mean, but I can't. I'll try though.

Sometimes God's reactions to our needs or prayers aren't words or actions, sometimes they just take a simple face-expression as a hint of what He's trying to say. It almost feels like graduating to another level to test us on what we learned the previous level. I always feel God around, I know He's around, I know He's listening to me, I know He cares... the only difference is, I have to look past a familiar voice and count on a silent face-expression to let me know these things. I don't even know for how long my prayers have been nothing but:
-"God, speak to me please!"
"God, where were you today? I couldn't hear you!"

-"God, please hear my prayers!"
"God, nothing's been happening! Are you telling me to take a break from praying for this?"

I began to question if God was getting tired of me. I lost all energy for Him and didn't know what to do. After a while of feeling like this, I realized that my faith was based on the obvious things God was doing and saying, instead of the silent things God was doing and saying. He wasn't ignoring what faith I did have in Him, He was trying to bring out another faith I didn't have in Him. In order to strengthen one sense, you have to close another, right?
I sure couldn't hear God anymore, but He taught me how to read silence. He taught me how to read His lips and to learn that a smile didn't mean He was up to one of His invisible tests again... but that a smile meant He was with me through whatever test I was in.
His eyes weren't shut at me, they were sparkling with excitement for the plans He has for me.
My faith was in what I've seen God already do, not in what He can and will do.
Because He made me weak in one area, I was able to become stronger in another.

God's been silent for a long time now... but He sure hasn't been absent. His comfort and wisdom wasn't in His words this time, but in His face.

NOT ONLY did God strengthen my faith in Him through His silence, but He helped me strengthen my faith in myself. It was in His silence that I was able to hear myself. I was able to better understand what it is I truly desire and need. My voice became louder and I learned not to settle on every stupid choice I'm offered. Instead of expecting God to strike every harmful person that came near me, I just learned not to be stupid enough to put myself in those situations anymore.

I've learned way more than I can explain... and I can't wait to see what God does with all of this. Once again... even when He's quiet He comes through for us! : )


He showed me who He is in a whole new way...

Fear Thou Not

Tonight was a decent night. : )

Wednesday was a pretty great day though. Well, more like a good night... Shall I explain? : )
- For the past month I've been praying that God would take away my fears. Everyone tells me how afraid I am of everything. I can't believe that I've been introduced as "Afraid of Everything"... MY NAME IS JOHANNA! ; )
Recently someone even called me Piglet; because I'm small and afraid of everything. So my mom was cleaning out her garage, and she had a Piglet doll still in the box, and she asked us if we wanted it. So I took it.
It now sits on my desk next to my bed. At first I didn't want it because I didn't like that it stood for "me being afraid of everything", but then I wanted it so it could motivate me to take my fear problem serious and pray on it. And I have been. My theme for this year is "GET OVER FEAR!".

So that's been on my mind for the past week or two.
On Wednesday night, February 3rd, I walked into Life Group at Amanda's. As soon as I walked inside, Amanda gave me a big, white envelope that said "To: Johanna Prousalis". She said it was in The Vine's mailing box or something, but she didn't know who it was from; and the only other thing written on it was "Vine". So I had no idea what it was. I shook it, it sounded like keys.
"Keys? That wouldn't sense, I have the only keys I own..."
So I opened it. I STOPPED BREATHING the second I saw them... MY DOG TAGS! I GOT THEM BACK!
What significance do these dog tags have? I'll tell you...
These were dog tags I had with me all the time. These are one of the most special things I own.
But as motivation for me to get my GED, I gave them to a friend and told her "Don't give these back to me until I get my GED. If I beg for them, don't give in!".
WELL that was back in August of 2007!
There were three dog tags:
One of them was a red one that said "Alpha" on it in Greek with a Bible verse on the back.
Another one was made by my old youth group leader on August 10th, 2007.
It says:
"Johanna Prousalis
God = My Strength
Phil. 4:13
Stay Strong
Trust God..."

And finally... the most important one (that I've had since early May, 2004)...
"FEAR NOT"! With a Bible verse on the back:
"Fear not, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO BE REMINDED OF! I know this verse by heart (in two versions : ), and I used to constantly hold on to this dog tag whenever I was afraid or nervous to remind me of that verse.
That friend who was holding on to them recently moved to Germany, but the last time I spoke to her, she told me she was gonna give my dog tags to someone else to hold onto. She made it clear she wasn't giving them back to me though... : (
So I don't know who she gave them to, but whoever it was, God decided to give them back to me instead. Not because I achieved my goal of getting my GED (pathetic, I know...), but because He knew I needed them to constantly remind me to not be afraid.
And you better believe I started crying when I got them back... : )

Yay! God listens! I knew He did... I'm just glad He decided to remind me though. : )

So that is my goal for this year... to "FEAR NOT"
2006 was my year of "Searching for God",
2007 was "Growing in God"
2008 was "Healing"
2009 was "Testing and Brokenness"
And 2010 shall now be "Facing Fears"... unless something happens and God decides to throw me in a crazy-different direction...

And now... I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE VINE RETREAT!!! : D