Pointless Short Blog

The other night God answered my call so fast that it didn't even get a chance to ring...
Since then I've been speechless.

And last night I asked, "God, should I start praying again? I need to know if it's safe for me to keep praying..."
And God simply replied with... "Yes. Pray."

I never thought I'd have to ask God if it's "safe" to pray for something, but I did.
See, praying for something was giving me a connection that I didn't want.
How can I keep myself from thinking about something if God wants me to keep praying for it?
Well, thinking about that made me question why I'm praying for it. Is it for my own satisfaction or do I really care for it?

Well, I still don't really know... so I think I'll go ask God. : )

Nearly-Perfect Day

I'm dying to go to sleep, so I'm making this a little short...

Today was like a crazy miracle or something. It was like one of the best days I've had all year. It was nearly a perfect day.
It's probably because I begged God for the chance to prove something to myself. I begged God to give me one day to make things right. I begged God for one day to be normal.

I find it interesting that I heard that song "I have a feeling... that tonight's gonna be a good night!" three times today... And indeed, tonight was a good, good night. : )

I'm going to end such a nearly-perfect day and night with a dream now... Goodnight. : )

The Vine

I find it important for some reason to mention how much I really appreciate The Vine.

For me personally, I find pretty much everything I need at The Vine.

The Vine has truly changed my life. It's my emotional support and time to surrender all my fears, worries and problems to God. The messages and worship are like arrows that go straight to my heart; they have a powerful sting to them. A good one.
The Vine was where I found the friends I had been praying for. The leaders I needed in my life.

Almost a year ago I joined the Greeting Team to serve God and the church that helped change my life.
Now, I'm sure everyone knows I'm not the most social person... so joining the Greeting Team was definitely uncomfortable for me at first. But I have friends as witnesses who could now probably tell you that I'm not as shy as I used to be... I have grown more comfortable with meeting and talking to people. I have also grown closer to some people because of it.
And I truly enjoy seeing the look on people's faces as they walk in the doors while looking at their bulletin, wondering "What is all this?". Because I remember thinking the same thing the first night I walked in those doors. And I know for a fact that The Vine has now changed some of their lives too.

But of course, none of this change could have taken place without God. It was through The Vine that God answered HUNDREDS of my prayers. The Vine isn't just a church service... it's a meeting place God set up for people who need freedom, comfort, prayer, friends, leaders, support, guidance, worship, laughter... GOD.

I'm saying all this because God keeps reminding me that I'm not who I was. And I'm very thankful. I've thanked God plenty of times for that, but I felt the need to express my appreciation for what being a part of The Vine has done for me.

So thank you to all who've made The Vine the wonderful experience it has been and still is to me. : )

(And thank you Sarah for inviting me! : )

In Love

I don't have much time to post, but I was thinking about something.

I was just sitting in the car after talking to a friend on the phone, and it made me think about dating and relationships and stuff. I asked myself (early during the day too): What is love? How do you know you're "in love"? Can REALLY liking someone even though they don't like you the same way count as being "in love"? If so, then I guess you could say I've been in love before. But because it sounds so wrong to me, so unreal, then maybe it was never love. How would you know?
I never thought I'd say this, but when it comes to love, God's love is easier to understand. I have no questions when it comes to God's love. I'm actually able to recognize when I'm "in love" when it comes to God. Seems like the easiest and most filling love out there to me. But if it's so easy and filling, then why can't I enjoy it as much as I should?
Here's what I think: I think I'm looking for a "buy one get one free" deal. I guess I expect that just because I love God and He loves me, God will give me a guy to love who will also love me.
"God is all for love! Love, love, love! If I love God, God loves me, and I love this guy, then why wouldn't God let this guy love me too?"
That's my problem. I expect something from God that He never promised to me.
Maybe I will get married one day. Maybe I won't. Whatever God's plans are for me definitely require time. I don't know about anyone else, but when I want something to be at its best, I take my time on it. When I'm getting ready and want my hair to look its best, I'll take my time on it. When I'm writing in my journal and I want to be very detailed, I'll take my time on it. If you have the time, then why not take it and make something at its best? God has ALL the time in the UNIVERSE and everywhere we can't imagine... why would He rush His plans for you just because you "love" Him and think you deserve a relationship because of it?
I'm not telling this to anyone other than myself. I just need to realize that just because I have a relationship with God DOESN'T mean I deserve a relationship with a guy just because I want it.
I was completely happy and content with the love I had for God last November. I KNEW I was "in love" with God. I miss that love. The only time I was familiar with what being in love meant was when I had that love for God. And I remember it also being the HAPPIEST time...

I wanna be IN LOVE with God, and IN LOVE with His timing for the guy He might be preparing for me! I wanna be in love with God while I wait... not anxious.

I love Love. : )