I have been wanting to blog all week! I haven't had a computer for over a week, but now I'm at work with my dad... and luckily there's a computer here.
Sunday night was incredibly strange. I went to Port Hueneme to visit my mom that day, and I was really disappointed that I didn't make it back in time for the message at The Vine. I only caught about the last 15 minutes of it. But even THAT was too powerful for me!
I got to The Vine not in such a great mood. Because I came in late, I stood in the back (which is annoying because I realize how easily distracted I get by being able to see every person in the room).
Right after the message and prayer ended, someone leaned over and said something to me that completely surprised me. Only God could have known what I was thinking that day, so only God could have known what I needed to hear. And yes... it really got to me. If I never came late, I wouldn't have heard it.
Anyway... I realize that every Sunday's message is more than I can handle. They're always so incredibly powerful, and I never go home without thinking about it for hours.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
God's Plans Are Always Better...
Tonight was awesome. I had absolutely no plans on going bowling with everyone tonight, but God had a different idea.
There were a few reasons why I didn't want to go bowling tonight. A few days ago, I was sitting in the car telling God I didn't want to go, but if He wanted me to go, then I'll go.
So all day I had no plans on going. Then an hour before bowling, I got a facebook IM from someone, convincing me to go; I really had no good reason not to go.
All the reasons I had not to go were all basically shot down.
I have this whole theme of "fear" going on with me now, so I find it funny that a song from my favorite band came on; it was about not being afraid. : )
I had a great night, and I had plenty reminders of who God is. A lot of my prayers were answered tonight, and by the end of the night, I had no fear anymore.
So why does God do these things? Did He have me go simply just because He wanted me to listen to that song? Did He have me go just to make me smile and laugh? Did He have me go because there was a conversation with someone He wanted me to have? Did He have me go to use me for someone else somehow?
I doubt I'll ever know why He wanted me to go to this party... but I KNOW it was because of GOD that I ended up going.
He completely reminded me of what an amazing God He truly is tonight... maybe that's why He wanted me to go. : )
Well, I'm incredibly sleepy, and I have horrible "growing" pains.
Good night.
There were a few reasons why I didn't want to go bowling tonight. A few days ago, I was sitting in the car telling God I didn't want to go, but if He wanted me to go, then I'll go.
So all day I had no plans on going. Then an hour before bowling, I got a facebook IM from someone, convincing me to go; I really had no good reason not to go.
All the reasons I had not to go were all basically shot down.
I have this whole theme of "fear" going on with me now, so I find it funny that a song from my favorite band came on; it was about not being afraid. : )
I had a great night, and I had plenty reminders of who God is. A lot of my prayers were answered tonight, and by the end of the night, I had no fear anymore.
So why does God do these things? Did He have me go simply just because He wanted me to listen to that song? Did He have me go just to make me smile and laugh? Did He have me go because there was a conversation with someone He wanted me to have? Did He have me go to use me for someone else somehow?
I doubt I'll ever know why He wanted me to go to this party... but I KNOW it was because of GOD that I ended up going.
He completely reminded me of what an amazing God He truly is tonight... maybe that's why He wanted me to go. : )
Well, I'm incredibly sleepy, and I have horrible "growing" pains.
Good night.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Guys
You know what's really annoying me now? It's that I constantly have to look for guys to like. Unfortunately, I go looking for someone to like when I want to keep my mind distracted from other things. To make me feel better.
There were a few people that I liked a whole lot. (I think they all found out somehow at some point... unfortunately...)
I really have to stop liking so many people. I'm bound to get hurt or disappointed one day... though... I can't say I already haven't before.
(I don't want every guy to assume I like them just cause I'm saying all this though.)
It's just weird cause I don't like anyone right now. And I feel like I should cause I usually do.
I have to stop this! I'm free and I should be happy about it!
I have no crushes or anything right now. I should focus on God while it lasts.
There were a few people that I liked a whole lot. (I think they all found out somehow at some point... unfortunately...)
I really have to stop liking so many people. I'm bound to get hurt or disappointed one day... though... I can't say I already haven't before.
(I don't want every guy to assume I like them just cause I'm saying all this though.)
It's just weird cause I don't like anyone right now. And I feel like I should cause I usually do.
I have to stop this! I'm free and I should be happy about it!
I have no crushes or anything right now. I should focus on God while it lasts.
I Need Change
Okay, well, I've sure been learning a lot lately.
I think I'm desperate for change right now. I'm being held back because of memories; good and bad. Now the world is against me because I don't care enough to get out and learn more about it.
But really though, I've been looking at a lot of bad things about me lately. It's not a bad thing at all though, it's certainly waking me up to a lot of things. I'm being more careful about what I say, what I do, and how I act.
At first, when someone points out all the bad things about you, it does make you feel like garbage. But when you realize all those things are true... it's embarrassing, and you become desperate to change them.
That's exactly where I stand. All this time I've been telling myself "I don't need to be good enough for anyone, I don't care what anyone says about me", but honestly, I do care. It's okay to tell yourself this if you really are doing something right. But if you don't even feel like you're doing enough for yourself, it's possible that you really do just need to do better.
And to prove that I'm "not good enough", let me tell you what I do pretty much every day:
I wake up around 2pm, I stay in bed thinking for at least another hour, I go on myspace and facebook, SOMETIMES I go for two hour walk (and pray), I spend a little time with my family outside, I go to my room and think some more (or fall asleep again), I go on myspace and facebook, I SOMETIMES read my Bible, I go sit in the car to think and pray, I go on myspace and facebook, and I go to sleep... at 5am. Then I do the same thing the next day and through the whole week pretty much.
It sounds nice to those who work; sleep, take a walk, think, pray, read Bible, myspace, facebook, family...
But when this is the only thing going on in your life, when the most you have to look forward to every day is checking myspace or facebook, it's depressing and embarrassing. I hate when people ask me what I do during the day.
Believe it or not, I'd rather go hiking, camping, fishing, skating, walking, or bowling or something. I'd even rather be working somewhere. I hate being home.
But I don't want to have to depend on anyone anymore in order for me to have fun. I want my own life now.
See, I've been giving myself too many excuses for not trying harder (or even at all) to improve my life. No WONDER my Spiritual life has been boring lately: I'm not getting out and challenging myself around other people enough!
This time though, I'm on my own to change things. I am NOT easily motivated, so yes, I do need help from people.
But I guess this is one of those things that I just need to do without emotion. I'm so emotionally drained, that's probably why I'm not so afraid of change right now. I don't have the emotional energy or patience to be afraid of change.
Tonight I realized that I'm officially on my own to study for this GED. Even my help didn't have patience to help me anymore. I let too many people get in my way. I refuse to rely on anyone or anything other than my mind and whatever God has planned for me.
Anyway... I didn't mean for all this to sound so negative towards myself or anyone else. It's just the truth... and I've finally discovered it.
I gotta hold on to this truth and use it to change my life... otherwise... I'm pretty much screwed.
(See that? It's 5am and I'm still not in bed...)
Good night... or morning. : )
I think I'm desperate for change right now. I'm being held back because of memories; good and bad. Now the world is against me because I don't care enough to get out and learn more about it.
But really though, I've been looking at a lot of bad things about me lately. It's not a bad thing at all though, it's certainly waking me up to a lot of things. I'm being more careful about what I say, what I do, and how I act.
At first, when someone points out all the bad things about you, it does make you feel like garbage. But when you realize all those things are true... it's embarrassing, and you become desperate to change them.
That's exactly where I stand. All this time I've been telling myself "I don't need to be good enough for anyone, I don't care what anyone says about me", but honestly, I do care. It's okay to tell yourself this if you really are doing something right. But if you don't even feel like you're doing enough for yourself, it's possible that you really do just need to do better.
And to prove that I'm "not good enough", let me tell you what I do pretty much every day:
I wake up around 2pm, I stay in bed thinking for at least another hour, I go on myspace and facebook, SOMETIMES I go for two hour walk (and pray), I spend a little time with my family outside, I go to my room and think some more (or fall asleep again), I go on myspace and facebook, I SOMETIMES read my Bible, I go sit in the car to think and pray, I go on myspace and facebook, and I go to sleep... at 5am. Then I do the same thing the next day and through the whole week pretty much.
It sounds nice to those who work; sleep, take a walk, think, pray, read Bible, myspace, facebook, family...
But when this is the only thing going on in your life, when the most you have to look forward to every day is checking myspace or facebook, it's depressing and embarrassing. I hate when people ask me what I do during the day.
Believe it or not, I'd rather go hiking, camping, fishing, skating, walking, or bowling or something. I'd even rather be working somewhere. I hate being home.
But I don't want to have to depend on anyone anymore in order for me to have fun. I want my own life now.
See, I've been giving myself too many excuses for not trying harder (or even at all) to improve my life. No WONDER my Spiritual life has been boring lately: I'm not getting out and challenging myself around other people enough!
This time though, I'm on my own to change things. I am NOT easily motivated, so yes, I do need help from people.
But I guess this is one of those things that I just need to do without emotion. I'm so emotionally drained, that's probably why I'm not so afraid of change right now. I don't have the emotional energy or patience to be afraid of change.
Tonight I realized that I'm officially on my own to study for this GED. Even my help didn't have patience to help me anymore. I let too many people get in my way. I refuse to rely on anyone or anything other than my mind and whatever God has planned for me.
Anyway... I didn't mean for all this to sound so negative towards myself or anyone else. It's just the truth... and I've finally discovered it.
I gotta hold on to this truth and use it to change my life... otherwise... I'm pretty much screwed.
(See that? It's 5am and I'm still not in bed...)
Good night... or morning. : )
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Prayer Please
Alright... Whoever happens to read this, I ask for prayers.
I hate asking for prayer, because I feel like most of the people I ask will either forget or just not care to really pray for me when they say they will.
I feel so emotionally drained with so many different things. Emotionally, I've been having the hardest month.
2009 is nothing like I expected. If it's not worse than 2006, it's at least just as bad... and it's only JUNE.
This GED is the most annoying wall in my life. It's keeping me from things I want and need, yet I'm having a really hard time of climbing it so I can finally get it out of my life.
Family-wise, well, I'm tired of them pointing out this was wall to me constantly. But believe me... I'M COMPLETELY AWARE OF THIS GIANT WALL IN FRONT OF ME.
And every time I think someone's actually going to help me with it, they leave.
Holy crap, this is why I hate asking for help. What I ask for is never what I get.
Driving... Not having my license has never been more annoying to me than now. I've cut back on hanging out with friends and doing special things because I absolutely can't stand asking for rides anymore. Anywhere I go, whoever I hang out with, what time I hang out with them all depends on other people. But no matter how much this all bothers me, it's still not enough to get rid of my fear of driving... ridiculous.
Friends are strange. They're moving, changing, or I just don't hang out with or talk to some of them much anymore. Maybe it's even all of that at once for some of them. All I know is that it's been strange lately.
Family... Well... I think I'm growing more and more impatient with them with some things now.
Anyway; All of this is, without a doubt, weighing down and effecting my emotional, physical and Spiritual health in a bad way.
I pray for hours at night. I read my Bible during the day. I keep believing God WILL do something with my prayers and faith. I just don't know how much longer I have before I finally have some kind of peace.
Yeah, I know, this was a pretty negative post. I'm just really desperate for people's prayers now.
Please pray for me. That's the only help I ask for from you guys.
I hate asking for prayer, because I feel like most of the people I ask will either forget or just not care to really pray for me when they say they will.
I feel so emotionally drained with so many different things. Emotionally, I've been having the hardest month.
2009 is nothing like I expected. If it's not worse than 2006, it's at least just as bad... and it's only JUNE.
This GED is the most annoying wall in my life. It's keeping me from things I want and need, yet I'm having a really hard time of climbing it so I can finally get it out of my life.
Family-wise, well, I'm tired of them pointing out this was wall to me constantly. But believe me... I'M COMPLETELY AWARE OF THIS GIANT WALL IN FRONT OF ME.
And every time I think someone's actually going to help me with it, they leave.
Holy crap, this is why I hate asking for help. What I ask for is never what I get.
Driving... Not having my license has never been more annoying to me than now. I've cut back on hanging out with friends and doing special things because I absolutely can't stand asking for rides anymore. Anywhere I go, whoever I hang out with, what time I hang out with them all depends on other people. But no matter how much this all bothers me, it's still not enough to get rid of my fear of driving... ridiculous.
Friends are strange. They're moving, changing, or I just don't hang out with or talk to some of them much anymore. Maybe it's even all of that at once for some of them. All I know is that it's been strange lately.
Family... Well... I think I'm growing more and more impatient with them with some things now.
Anyway; All of this is, without a doubt, weighing down and effecting my emotional, physical and Spiritual health in a bad way.
I pray for hours at night. I read my Bible during the day. I keep believing God WILL do something with my prayers and faith. I just don't know how much longer I have before I finally have some kind of peace.
Yeah, I know, this was a pretty negative post. I'm just really desperate for people's prayers now.
Please pray for me. That's the only help I ask for from you guys.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Stupid "Add Friend" Button...
Ahh. I wish I waited. Time's up. Now how do I restart?
But this time isn't even close to as bad as the last time I didn't listen to God... and blew up His clock in front of His face.
What's done is done.
ANYWAY...
So I'm sitting here, trying to figure out why I'm so intimidated by people. I spent an HOUR last week, sitting in front of the computer screen, trying to decide if I was going to hit "Add Friend" for someone's Facebook. I couldn't do it.
A couple days later, I tried again.
... I still couldn't do it.
Here I am, once again, ready to hit "Add Friend" on Facebook... and yet I still can't seem to click the stupid button!
There's some people that I would love to get to sit down with and talk to. There's people I would like to get to know better. But for some reason, I can't seem to do it???
I'm going to attempt to click "Add Friend" again now...
Wow, I thought for sure I would succeed that time... FAIL.
What's wrong with me? Why is it so hard for me to add just one person on Facebook?
People are intimidating... or I'm just pathetically afraid of everything and everyone.
Yeah, that last one sounds pretty much right...
I'm gonna try again. I will do it this time!
Kay, after 30 minutes of trying to decide again, I finally did it. I sent the friend request.
... And now I wish I could take it back...
Ah.
But this time isn't even close to as bad as the last time I didn't listen to God... and blew up His clock in front of His face.
What's done is done.
ANYWAY...
So I'm sitting here, trying to figure out why I'm so intimidated by people. I spent an HOUR last week, sitting in front of the computer screen, trying to decide if I was going to hit "Add Friend" for someone's Facebook. I couldn't do it.
A couple days later, I tried again.
... I still couldn't do it.
Here I am, once again, ready to hit "Add Friend" on Facebook... and yet I still can't seem to click the stupid button!
There's some people that I would love to get to sit down with and talk to. There's people I would like to get to know better. But for some reason, I can't seem to do it???
I'm going to attempt to click "Add Friend" again now...
Wow, I thought for sure I would succeed that time... FAIL.
What's wrong with me? Why is it so hard for me to add just one person on Facebook?
People are intimidating... or I'm just pathetically afraid of everything and everyone.
Yeah, that last one sounds pretty much right...
I'm gonna try again. I will do it this time!
Kay, after 30 minutes of trying to decide again, I finally did it. I sent the friend request.
... And now I wish I could take it back...
Ah.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Keep Waiting!
Johanna!!! You have to wait!!! Just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait just wait!
Waiting for answers is hard... but you gotta do it!
Don't let yourself think you know what's best when God is telling you something else!
Dreams are awesome. They sometimes give you advice.
Waiting for answers is hard... but you gotta do it!
Don't let yourself think you know what's best when God is telling you something else!
Dreams are awesome. They sometimes give you advice.
"Just wait..."
I think I've been learning how to wait more. For the past few weeks, I've been hearing nothing but "Just wait, just wait..." from God. And after a few mistakes of giving in, I've finally learned to "just wait".
Waiting is really hard, but waiting is the answer to problems sometimes.
I have managed to relate this to my fear of spiders...
Here's what I mean: I can't watch anything to do with spiders. If there's a movie or show on that has some kind of spider part, I have to close my eyes or else I'll think about it at night. If I close my eyes, I trust that whoever I'm with will let me know when it's safe to open my eyes. If I don't trust them, then I'll most likely open my eyes at the wrong time and scar myself for the night. God keeps His eyes open while ours are closed. God sees things when we can't. That's why we have to trust He knows the right time for everything.
"Hold on Johanna, just keep your eyes closed until I say it's safe to open them. I'm sure you don't want nightmares about spiders tonight."
When I don't trust that God's looking out for me when I can't see, I use my own judgment for when it's "safe" to do something.
But I have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't make sense for me to make decisions when I can't see anything. God's my lookout. I just have to trust that when He says "Wait", it means "It's not safe yet". I have to trust the One who can see things I can't.
Anyway... God's waiting for me in the car. : )
Waiting is really hard, but waiting is the answer to problems sometimes.
I have managed to relate this to my fear of spiders...
Here's what I mean: I can't watch anything to do with spiders. If there's a movie or show on that has some kind of spider part, I have to close my eyes or else I'll think about it at night. If I close my eyes, I trust that whoever I'm with will let me know when it's safe to open my eyes. If I don't trust them, then I'll most likely open my eyes at the wrong time and scar myself for the night. God keeps His eyes open while ours are closed. God sees things when we can't. That's why we have to trust He knows the right time for everything.
"Hold on Johanna, just keep your eyes closed until I say it's safe to open them. I'm sure you don't want nightmares about spiders tonight."
When I don't trust that God's looking out for me when I can't see, I use my own judgment for when it's "safe" to do something.
But I have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't make sense for me to make decisions when I can't see anything. God's my lookout. I just have to trust that when He says "Wait", it means "It's not safe yet". I have to trust the One who can see things I can't.
Anyway... God's waiting for me in the car. : )
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
My Dream Last Night
I have to post now before I forget the details of my dream last night.
Well first it started out that I had some kind of fight with my mom, so I went and hid in her RV to get away from everyone. It was night, so it was kinda scary. I remember seeing a sock on the floor.
So then the next part of my dream, I saw this pastor that I haven't seen in a while, and he gave me pictures he found of me when I got baptized. Then some friends came over and I told them a story about me calling in to the radio and the people thinking I was 9. And while I was telling my story, that same pastor started singing that "Michael Finnigan" song.
Now for the main part of my dream...
It was weird because I wasn't the main person in the dream. I was watching someone else, as if I was watching someone else's dream.
It started out with this girl (maybe in her 20's) who had a horrible accident: her house exploded while she was in it, but she survived. I saw the explosion happen.
I knew the girl was still living in fear from what happened to her. Next, I saw the girl at a gas station, and she saw her mom parked at the gas pump in front of her. I remember thinking "Poor girl. She's so afraid. What are the chances of a guy robbing her right now...".
Just then, this guy ran up to the girl and pulled a gun on her. He told her to get in the car, and don't drive away until her mom says "Mhm". Her mom was just pumping gas and didn't know all this was going on. She said "Mhm" as a goodbye to her daughter, and the girl and the guy with the gun started backing up slowly, and drove off.
Then I was at a wedding in the chapel of my old school. The bride and a bunch of people were figuring out important details about the wedding. The chapel looked pretty empty since people weren't really there yet. I walked in and was taking pictures of everything set up. Then more people started showing up, and the wedding was about to begin. The bride was on stage with the bridesmaids and groomsmen, smiling and waiting for the groom to come out. The audience was standing in front of the stage instead of sitting. While I was standing there, I looked diagonally to the right in front of me, and I saw that guy with the girl. He was holding on to her wrist so that she couldn't run away, and so that people couldn't tell anything was wrong. They were both dressed nice. Then the guy with the gun gave me some change; pennies, nickles and dimes, and then he yelled at the girl and took it back.
After the wedding, I walked into our backyard and sat by the pool. My sister was in the pool, and we started talking.
End of dream.
It was REALLY long and felt as real as a movie. I felt bad that I couldn't help the girl.
Well first it started out that I had some kind of fight with my mom, so I went and hid in her RV to get away from everyone. It was night, so it was kinda scary. I remember seeing a sock on the floor.
So then the next part of my dream, I saw this pastor that I haven't seen in a while, and he gave me pictures he found of me when I got baptized. Then some friends came over and I told them a story about me calling in to the radio and the people thinking I was 9. And while I was telling my story, that same pastor started singing that "Michael Finnigan" song.
Now for the main part of my dream...
It was weird because I wasn't the main person in the dream. I was watching someone else, as if I was watching someone else's dream.
It started out with this girl (maybe in her 20's) who had a horrible accident: her house exploded while she was in it, but she survived. I saw the explosion happen.
I knew the girl was still living in fear from what happened to her. Next, I saw the girl at a gas station, and she saw her mom parked at the gas pump in front of her. I remember thinking "Poor girl. She's so afraid. What are the chances of a guy robbing her right now...".
Just then, this guy ran up to the girl and pulled a gun on her. He told her to get in the car, and don't drive away until her mom says "Mhm". Her mom was just pumping gas and didn't know all this was going on. She said "Mhm" as a goodbye to her daughter, and the girl and the guy with the gun started backing up slowly, and drove off.
Then I was at a wedding in the chapel of my old school. The bride and a bunch of people were figuring out important details about the wedding. The chapel looked pretty empty since people weren't really there yet. I walked in and was taking pictures of everything set up. Then more people started showing up, and the wedding was about to begin. The bride was on stage with the bridesmaids and groomsmen, smiling and waiting for the groom to come out. The audience was standing in front of the stage instead of sitting. While I was standing there, I looked diagonally to the right in front of me, and I saw that guy with the girl. He was holding on to her wrist so that she couldn't run away, and so that people couldn't tell anything was wrong. They were both dressed nice. Then the guy with the gun gave me some change; pennies, nickles and dimes, and then he yelled at the girl and took it back.
After the wedding, I walked into our backyard and sat by the pool. My sister was in the pool, and we started talking.
End of dream.
It was REALLY long and felt as real as a movie. I felt bad that I couldn't help the girl.
Having It My Way
I've been learning an important lesson lately: Do WHAT God says, WHEN He says it.
I find that I lose a lot whenever I try to have my own way and don't listen to God. And the stupid thing about it is that I KNOW what the right thing to do is... sometimes.
Last week I told myself I wouldn't do something until God told me to do it. Eventually I got a little impatient without knowing it, and I tried making an excuse of why I had to do it right then. I basically said to God "God, I know I'm supposed to be waiting for Your timing to do this, but please understand why I HAVE to do it now! I need to! Please understand why I can't wait, God!"
I actually sat in the car and BEGGED God to "understand" why I had to have my way.
So I went ahead and had my own way.
Well, now I regret it. Waiting would have been a lot easier than what I put myself through. And the worst part was that I knew I really only had to wait one day. God was telling me to wait ONE DAY; not a week, not a month... ONE DAY. But I couldn't even wait that long. I HAD to have it my way right then.
A month ago, God told me to do something. I was too scared to do it though. It felt like it would be too hard. But I attempted to do it... and then I backed out and told God "I'm sorry, but I can't do it."
Now I'm paying for that mistake too.
Waiting is hard. But getting your way is even harder.
I'd like to finish this, but I'm in a hurry and really have to go.
Just learn from my mistakes and take my advice... DO WHAT GOD SAYS WHEN HE SAYS TO DO IT! Don't try to make excuses of why your way is "better".
I find that I lose a lot whenever I try to have my own way and don't listen to God. And the stupid thing about it is that I KNOW what the right thing to do is... sometimes.
Last week I told myself I wouldn't do something until God told me to do it. Eventually I got a little impatient without knowing it, and I tried making an excuse of why I had to do it right then. I basically said to God "God, I know I'm supposed to be waiting for Your timing to do this, but please understand why I HAVE to do it now! I need to! Please understand why I can't wait, God!"
I actually sat in the car and BEGGED God to "understand" why I had to have my way.
So I went ahead and had my own way.
Well, now I regret it. Waiting would have been a lot easier than what I put myself through. And the worst part was that I knew I really only had to wait one day. God was telling me to wait ONE DAY; not a week, not a month... ONE DAY. But I couldn't even wait that long. I HAD to have it my way right then.
A month ago, God told me to do something. I was too scared to do it though. It felt like it would be too hard. But I attempted to do it... and then I backed out and told God "I'm sorry, but I can't do it."
Now I'm paying for that mistake too.
Waiting is hard. But getting your way is even harder.
I'd like to finish this, but I'm in a hurry and really have to go.
Just learn from my mistakes and take my advice... DO WHAT GOD SAYS WHEN HE SAYS TO DO IT! Don't try to make excuses of why your way is "better".
Monday, June 1, 2009
After-Dark Prayer
Tonight's message at The Vine was amazing.
I love when the messages relate to me so much, that I sit there and have to try really hard not to laugh about it. SERIOUSLY.
Nearly EVERY week, I almost have to get up and walk out during the message because it relates to me so well that I start laughing.
And later at the after-dark, I felt the need to go off and pray. So I did. And it was peaceful, and nice, and everything I needed. After that, I really couldn't wait to get home and pray in the car.
So while I was praying in the car, God answered my prayer from earlier at the after-dark. : )
Well, last night I had an interesting dream. I don't remember all of it with great detail, but I do remember one specific part.
For some reason I was at a hospital. Not because something was wrong with me, I was just there.
I remember walking down a hall, and I passed by one of the hospital rooms. I noticed that I knew one of the people in the room, so I went in and asked her why she was there.
She said she was sick with something, but the doctors didn't know what it was. Though they did tell her she was probably going to be okay.
The weird thing is that I don't really know the lady. I only know her by giving her a bulletin when she walks in to the Vine. Makes me wonder what she might really be going through?
Anyway... I'm sleepy now. Good night.
I love when the messages relate to me so much, that I sit there and have to try really hard not to laugh about it. SERIOUSLY.
Nearly EVERY week, I almost have to get up and walk out during the message because it relates to me so well that I start laughing.
And later at the after-dark, I felt the need to go off and pray. So I did. And it was peaceful, and nice, and everything I needed. After that, I really couldn't wait to get home and pray in the car.
So while I was praying in the car, God answered my prayer from earlier at the after-dark. : )
Well, last night I had an interesting dream. I don't remember all of it with great detail, but I do remember one specific part.
For some reason I was at a hospital. Not because something was wrong with me, I was just there.
I remember walking down a hall, and I passed by one of the hospital rooms. I noticed that I knew one of the people in the room, so I went in and asked her why she was there.
She said she was sick with something, but the doctors didn't know what it was. Though they did tell her she was probably going to be okay.
The weird thing is that I don't really know the lady. I only know her by giving her a bulletin when she walks in to the Vine. Makes me wonder what she might really be going through?
Anyway... I'm sleepy now. Good night.
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